Yoga and Anger

In, out.

Deep, slow.

Calm, ease.

Smile, release.

Present moment,

Wonderful moment.

- Thich Nhat Hanh

Who is this Thich Nhat Hanh? - A world renowned Vietnamese Buddhist teacher, writer, poet, and peacemaker. If you have no clue who he is, you are not alone. I knew almost nothing about him when I went to his retreat many, many years ago. At the time, I was a yoga student not a teacher. We were living in San Diego. My son was maybe two. We didn't have internet or a computer; we were living paycheck to paycheck. My husband knew how much I enjoyed yoga and he suggested that I take a day off and go to this retreat at UCSD. It was a weekend retreat, but you could also just go for the day.

I arrived a little late and took a seat on an uncomfortable folding chair. The podium was empty. Not realizing it was a silent retreat, I attempted an awkward conversation with the person next to me. Bewildered, I studied the faces and movements of the people around me. Heads began to turn and look behind the rows of folding chairs. A small group of people donning bright yellow-orange robes came forward. All but one took a seat. The man who continued toward the podium was small with a bald head. He did not walk, he floated. His bright robe skimmed the grass. There was a glow about him that expanded his presence. My heart and breath paused for just a moment; he was the most beautiful human I had ever seen.

Keep in mind, I knew nothing of this man. It wasn't even my idea to go to this retreat. That afternoon, Thich Nhat Hanh spoke about anger. His words, rooted in wisdom and kindness, brought tears to my eyes and resonated with me on the deepest level. I wept in silence because there have been periods in my life when I have wielded anger like a fierce weapon. As he spoke, he reminded us that anger does not solve problems, instead the weight of it consumes you. And when anger is misdirected, which it often is, the blade hits the one who swings the sword. He urged us to talk to the person we are angry with, to tell that person how much we are hurt by our anger and that we need help from that person to let it go.

There is truth to what he said. Yet it is easier said than done; it may happen in a split second, but it is the work of a lifetime. These days I have felt quite a lot of anger. It wells up when I read the news or look at social media or if I think too much about inequity and the environment. What can I do? What can we do? Yes there are things - volunteer, speak out, donate money, be more conscious about consuming, etc - and yet we need to take care of our hearts so that we can encourage, support, and carry out the changes being human so desperately requires.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all there is to do and that feeling is always reflected in my breath. So I return to my rectangular sanctuary/laboratory because my practice allows me listen to the tender ache of my heart and frees me from the weight of my anger.

I breathe in and out, deep and slow, with calm and ease, and smile and release into this present moment, this wonderful moment.

Namaste,

Kathryn